Victoria Cilliers wants answers from philandering husband Emile!
She admits she threw her wedding ring away as police told her about Cilliers’ crimes.
But she talks calmly about him, recalls the “passionate, intense, alpha male soldier” she first fell for – and expresses a degree of compassion for him as the father of their two children.
Almost forgivingly, she refers to him as “a sex addict”.
Victoria tells the Sunday Mirror: “I have to go with, I suppose, the verdict. It’s too big to get my head around. It’s hard to comprehend that someone you get married to and have children with would be capable of that.
“Yes I’m hurt and angry, but can I see him as capable of murder? No. I am going to grieve for the marriage I had and the end of the life that I had.
“I’ll always care for the father of my children, and I loved him, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.”
She vowed to visit Cilliers, demand a face-to-face explanation and ask him: “Why is all this happening?”
Victoria gave her interview just two days after Cilliers was convicted. She said the bizarre series of events had shattered her “perfect” life.
Victoria knew he was a lovecheat – but had no idea of the extent of his obsession with women. He was visiting sex clubs, contacting prostitutes, sleeping with his first wife and carrying on with yet another mistress.
Cilliers’ sordid double life was unveiled in two trials. He was £22,000 in debt and tried to kill Victoria to get a £120,000 life insurance payout to fund a new life with his Tinder lover Stefanie Goller, 36.
Victoria was speaking to us at the home in Amesbury, Wilts, where Cilliers tried to gas her. She goes on: “I’d never considered he could be responsible. I was in and around both those times he’s accused of trying to kill me so when, physically, did he manage to do those things?
“I never felt scared or threatened. He’d been unfaithful and had issues with money, but that’s not murder.